Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jay hE eS eS eye see Aye's LiveJournal:

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Monday, June 28th, 2004
3:14 am	HEY EVERYONE! alright y'all, i got a NEW live journal that i'm going to update with all of my adventures in europe for the next 6 months. Jess_Global my flight leaves in 12 hours, and i wont be home for a looong time, so please keep in touch and send a random reply from time to time to keep in touch with me! I'M GOING TO MISS YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH! have fun this summer, and good luck in school during the fall! MUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <--- kiss (and i'm keeping this lj too, just so i can post obscene stuff that i don't want mi familia to read, muahahaha) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
11:53 am	chs prom oh-four baby! so this is a bit late, but here’s some pics from cleveland’s prom a few weeks ago… i had a great time at universal, it was soooo nice. i can’t believe our class pulled it off! and those key chain favors (I picked out) were pretty! AND WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THAT BUS! Wow, that was the most fun i’ve had all year, i'm glad i stole the idea from van nuys (who were lame enough not to do it anyway… muahahhahaha!) btw, i’ll be posting pics from that prom too as soon as i can get them on my computer. [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] yaaa!>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] so this is a bit late, but here’s some pics from cleveland’s prom a few weeks ago… i had a great time at universal, it was soooo nice. i can’t believe our class pulled it off! and those key chain favors (I picked out) were pretty! AND WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THAT BUS! Wow, that was the most fun i’ve had all year, i'm glad i stole the idea from van nuys (who were lame enough not to do it anyway… muahahhahaha!) btw, i’ll be posting pics from that prom too as soon as i can get them on my computer. <img src=http://hometown.aol.com/valygrl99/images/chs%20prom%20lj%20copy.jpg alt=helllll yaaa!> (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 5th, 2004
2:13 am	someone in my house.... needs to go shopping.... all we have in our fridge is two cartons of milk and a bottle of wine (and it's only mr. two buck chuck). just fantastic (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
12:42 am	let me update this stoopid thing so it's 36 days before i leave for europe. then, chance has it, i'm not coming back till december. i was driving my brother home tonight, after a night out with some very unappreciative family, and i began to realize that i'm not going to be there for him when he goes though the whole teenage thing. and it makes me really sad. but then i guess i've never been too involved in his life in the first place, we don't talk about personal issues all that often. i guess, in self-defense, i've detached my life from his. still, i can't help feeling really sad that i'm not going to be around to be a part of his life. and my dad, what can i say about him. he's dedicated his whole life to us. and now i'm just leaving him. i've been very cruel to him, and sometimes i think it's because i know he loves me more than anyone in my world. i don't understand why i treat him the way i do ... refuse to establish any kind of communitive relationship with him. maybe it's something from my childhood that's caused me to distance myself from the people who get so close to me. my best attempt to solving the problem is by moving half way across the globe to start a new life. but i can't stop thinking about a friend who told me once that she'd "rather build a better life from the one she already had." i kinda feel like i'm bound to repeat the same mistakes and end up in the same dark hole. but there's something about the idea of being "new" that appeals to me. i hope this time is different. i hope this newness will help me face the old and fix it. i guess the biggest thing that's bothering me is that i've drifted though these past few years completely unattached to anything. i'm sad not because of what i'm leaving behind, but because i'm not going to miss anything in this moment that is my life. irony at it's best (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 11th, 2004
2:38 pm	you aint seen nothin' till you've seen this i haven't written an lj entry in a long while.... but i tell you, after seeing this about 10 mins ago, i'm inspired as hell... so what the fuck is this picture? well let me tell you this is the most random shit i've ever experienced in my life. i'm driving home from school on the 101 S as usual.... up along side me drives this GUY ON A MOTORCYCLE.... WEARING A TOP HAT.... WITH A BIG FAT HUSKY DOG IN THE FRONT SEAT! this guy's cruzin' along, at a cool 70 mph, with his husky doin it "doggie style" in the front seat! (if you have a good look, you'll see the dog's hind-legs right infront of the old mans.... then of course you'll see the dog's head right behind the windshield in the front) this guy coulda been fucking the dog for all i know.... afterall he was positioned right. HAHAHAHAHA! I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO COME UP WITH A PICTURE MORE RANDOM THAN THIS! (i don't understand how I always manage to run into these random scenes..... or maybe it's just that my life's so boring i'm the only one who notices...) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 25th, 2004
11:55 pm	really, I am (Yet another warning: if you don’t already know, I’m a very strange girl; this shit will fuck up your brain cells if you decide to continue reading. Unless your mind works like mine, you’re not going to understand any of this word saliva. But then again, what do I care...) I wonder if it’s a bad thing to be emotionally unstable. Because emotions were never made stable in the first place? You can’t control them, they never come at the right time, and they always manage to fuck you up, at least they do for me. But then again you have to take the good with the bad. Or maybe I should say the bad with the good. Being pegged as the girl who’s “EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE”, comes the ability to have compassion and outright appreciation for life. Why the fuck would I care about what everyone else thinks of me in the first place? Labels shouldn’t bother me… after all, they’re only labels. Labels don’t explain everything, and I know that. Regardless, I do care about what everyone thinks, and labels do bother me. I have to stop apologizing for my feelings, apologizing for the way my actions make other people feel. Maybe I should stop giving a fuck about other’s feelings and think more about my own. But then I’d not only be emotionally unstable, I’d be too self-involved. Then again, I guess if I was self-involved, I’d be too involved with myself that I wouldn’t consider what other people thought of me. But then what’s the right way to live my life? I wonder if it’s a bad thing to be too self- involved? The answer to these questions should be what I think and not what other people think. Then comes the problem again, I worry too much about what other people think. As Emerson says, “To believe your own thought… what is true for you… that is genius.” I guess in Emerson’s eyes, I’m no fucking genius. But then again, I shouldn’t give a fuck about what Emerson thinks, right? After all, he has to be a hypocrite if he’s TELLING people to believe in their own thoughts. I mean, that advice is a thought coming from his mind and not from my own. Guess he’s not too genius either. Just think about it. Guess I’m too contemplative to tell the difference between left and right. Or right and left. In a complex way, I’m guessing it makes a difference. (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 7th, 2004
9:02 pm	too too much tee vee so i was just watching this commercial for charmin (or maybe it was for target).... anyway, a scenario came to mind and i was wondern' if it's ever happened: i wonder if anyone's gone camping and really needed to use the bathroom, so they searched around for some leaves to use to "clean themselves up". but by accident they grab some poison oak leaves, and wow...... biiiiiig trouble. ewwwww (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
2:43 am	party like its 1999 + 5 it's the last day of 2003.... I don't think i've ever been so scared of an approaching new year. i can't really say that 2003 brought me anything that was life changing, but i know that 2004 will. but its so different. i'll be graduating, then going off to school!!! every year, as i count down from ten, i always know where i'll be when the time comes again. but everythings changed this year. i have no idea where i'll be after the summer is over. i could be anywhere in the world!!! and that's exciting, really.... i mean i'll be on my own.... not a kid anymore. its for real this time and you only get one shot. what should i expect? graduation for me i know will be hard. then the summer? what about the summer? i know i've been saving for the past five months for a two month trip around europe. but recently i realized that i might not be able to find anyone who has the time or money to go! i think it would be a really amazing experience, one that i'd remember for the rest of my life. but is it really going to happen? and then college... MY GOD COLLEGE! i still feel like i'm in 9th grade, i have no clue what i want yet!!!! it's especially hard when it seems like you're surrounded by people who know where they'd like to end up. over ten different school... some not even in america! my god. 2004 is like a very dark room, i can't see anything: who my friends will be.... and who knows, maybe i'll fall in love... i mean i could even die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you never know, nothing is ever promised to you. the one thing i do know, is that you only get one life..... i have to live it up, every chance i get happy new year everyone, and i hope all your wishes come true (what's your new years resolution?) (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 29th, 2003
2:01 pm	college? WHAT NOW!!!!! AHHHH!!!! College applications can come get me! YOU STOOPID BASTARD! I mean who the hell do you think you are! You're so fucking complicated and I can never understand you... then you give me this information last minute so I can't even send you in! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! come closer..... i'd like to crap on your face. NOW WHAT! maybe now you feel like i feel..... a piece of shite. klasdjklasjdklj (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 26th, 2003
12:22 am	new years? so who's got new years plans? i'm dreaming of wearing some hot ass shoes and goin out and havin a great time...... too bad i'm all dressed up with no place to go :( so where ya at?! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 4th, 2003
11:29 pm	nooow you knooooooooo I have something CRUCIAL for you to think about if your planning on donating blood this year, i suggest you give it some serious consideration! read on mi amigos.... case #1 so if your planning on giving blood this year, think of this. You give blood and the hospitals use it to give a blood transfusion to a needy candidate. the next day, that same person commits a crime by killing someone. when the police reach the crime scene, they find a sample of the criminals blood. HOWEVER!!! they test the blood, the DNA matches yours and YOU are the one who is accused of the murder. THINK PEOPLE! do you reeeeeeally want to put yourself at risk for getting involved in that type of drama? i'm sure you can find some cases of it happening in some place in the universe. nightmares finally realized case number #2 okay, so you take the risk and donate some blood.... BUT then the unthinkable happens. the united state secret service decides to sell some of its blood reserve to france. little do YOU know that france is testing human cloning. they use YOUR blood and create a fully developed human clone of you! you live your whole life never knowing that there's someone exactly like you walking around on the other side of the planet..... you never know these things. why not be smart and keep your blood to yourself welcome to the twilight zoooooone.... (**da-na-na-na da-na-na-na**) pee.ess. please take the time to respond to the previous post on hamburgers vs. hot-dogs. the debate remains unsloved. and as to blood transfusions, how would you feel having someone elses blood running through your viens??? (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 1st, 2003
12:19 am	Here's the question... Alright america, what do ya think.... What is america's most popular/famous meal, hot-dogs or hamburgers? (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 23rd, 2003
11:32 pm	flying a kite consider this post a warning, never go offline when amanda, olivia, miles and myself are around. randy i love you.... i feel bad this had to happen to you. but hum............ i love you. hopefully you can forgive me someday. thank you for an amazing saturday.... miles you are especially generous, i wont forget i owe you one and randy........... i'm so sorry (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
2:27 pm	and tonight we're gonna work it like it's nine-teen-ninty-nine wow, i don’t think that i’ve partied this hard since….. well….. since ever!! weekend started out in a rush, woke up early friday morning to do some last minute homework, then late to class. since friday was our schools homecoming game i stayed at school to work on our senior float. It was amazing, it had a “Gilligen’s Island” theme and we won third place!!!!!!!! First i think was junior council that had an “Adams Family” float… they even had five people who dressed as a huge hand… it was really clever. Second place was MECHA who had a “that 70’s show” float. Their float was an old VW bug that BROKE DOWN on the way to the flied…. so I ran back to my car and drove it up to the front so they could use it to jump-start their car. they were really thankful, and I was glad I could help. straight after homecoming i speeeeeed home and manage to get myself ready (and I mean READY) to go out to club booooooogie!!! manomie, sandra, gina, amanda, britany and myself drove down there and we had a blassst. some guy friends of theirs met up with us once we got there. HAHAHAHA! Well, what can i say about that…. apparently i’ve become someone’s future ex-wife. HAHAHA! But the BEST part of the night had to be the taco bell drive-though at 3AM. Neevvvveer in my life have been so entertained in a drive-though. Some random guys in the car in front of us gave us a show. and all i can tell you is: if you’re a guy, don’t get your belly-button pierced. it’s not hot. UP AT 9AM FOR WORK NEXT MORNING! Then i speeeeed home after work to go out to our homecoming. I have a few pictures I can show you, but I really didn’t take too many, so here’s the good ones I have. But overall the night was fun, although it’s not a club…. it’s god damn high school! But I’d go anywhere if it means I can party with friends, so there you go….. UP AT 9AM FOR WORK NEXT MORNING!!! Yes, that’s the second morning in a row. But this time I just slept after work, and needless to say…. I skipped school Monday. Sam and I had planned a Margarita Monday because no school the next morning. But I had a few other things on my mind, so I decided to lay low that day. November 10th is a really big day of the year for me. Something I don’t talk about much, and weird that I’d mention it online, but it marks eight years since my mom past away. She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, and she’s in my thoughts constantly. I’m angry that she isn’t here to share some of these moments with me, but I know she’d be proud that I’m not letting a single moment pass me by….. I’m getting the most that I can out of my life…. Appreciating everything. So there you go…. My first lj mini novel. LOVE YOU ALLL!!!!!!! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 3rd, 2003
12:52 am	i love my wooden spoon weekend was fabulous. so how was your halloween? did you get lots of candy? i scored some bubblicious for me and amanda's fabulous interpretation of mauro as a pumpkin. hahahhaha! i took a picture so you all can see... ours is the one on the right. we put a candle in his mouth and lit it cuz mauro smokes.... and man it was hysterical. so after work, i enjoyed my only other "treat" for halloween... a very nice candy apple. thanks again. hahaha. then off to bed, cuz it was veeerrry late, and SATs the next morning. not so hot if ya know what i mean. then off to Knotts Scary Farm with me and 14 asians.... oh and evan too! i love you all so much it tares me into tiny pieces. although my lack of sleep made me extremely tired, i had a great time and i'm so grateful to have the friends that i have. here's a picture of rina, and rina and i trying on some kick ass sun glasses in the gift shop... and i have to add, rina and i can flow together like no other. remember while we where in line for the log ride? "you can find me in the tub.... bottle full of bub... momma i got wat chew need.... so come give me a scrub!!" hahaha! the best ever and you know it too! so after evan was generous enough to drive me home at 4 AM, i finally got some sleep after not sleeping the past 72 hours. woke up, went to work.... then chiiiiiilllled. i must say that i love this weather and i love this season. it's freezing outside, but i am so lucky to able to sit in a warm house and feel safe and warm and loved by all the people i've been lucky enough to come across in my life. it really makes me appreciate things. it's the best time if year. although the daily drama continues, i ALWAYS remember how fortunate i am, and how important every minute is. thank all of you, even the ones that dont like me.... thats too bad cuz i love you pee es.... amanda, that wasn't cool in the car with you can the music. damn girl, i never knew you could be so shaaaady. and that why strangers spit on your car!!! and joe, i got you a wooden spoon... so don't you forget my damn mac and cheese!! get-toe style, straight out of the pot. holllllleeerrrrrr (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 19th, 2003
11:21 am	San to the Fran what updates can i bring..... hummm.... well i went to Saddle Ranch last week! good times. its a restaurant on the sunset strip where they have bull riding! it's so great to watch.... there's all this drunk ass people riding this mechanical bull and of course falling off. pure comedy i think i'm goin back next week. maybe i'll actually ride the bull myself!! as for the rest of the week.... school and work. blah! but i did have a good time with steven on friday! (i told you that i'd see you). if you didn't already know, he's a fucking amazing musician. Alright so here's the deal............. i'm goin to San Fran in november. No school on tuesday, nov. 11 because of veterans day. So my plan is to drive/train up there during the weekend, stay in a youth hostel (maybe?) for a few nights.... go see MARS FUCKING VOLTA on monday night... then drive/train back home on tuesday. that way i only miss one day of school, but it's a 4 day weekend! plus i can check out some of those colleges up there too! but who am i going with? DOOOOOOD NO CLUE! the idea started at work, but it's kinda sketchy. too many people got invited i think. but orly!!!!!!!! are ya coming girl!??????? i hope, i think we'd have a blast. is anyone SEEERRRIOUUUSSLLYYY interested???? just to let chew know, i spit on people who say they'd like to go AND THEN FLAKE OUT!!! (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 11th, 2003
10:39 pm	"So what did you do this weekend?" My answer: "absolutely nothing" WARNING: don't even bother reading this because it's just me bitching. trust me, it's not worth your time. it's a saturday night and i'm at home. yesterday was friday night and i was at home. i hate college board. that damn conglomerate bullshit is the essence of everything i hate in life. i don't understand how someone could come up with an idea for test that evaluates ones intellect. i think that's the most absurd concept that i've ever come across in my life. why was i home last night? because i was "preparing" for my life evaluation..... the SAT. a single test that will make or break my chances of my future at university. why am i at home again tonight??? well mainly because i'm a procrastinator.... but that doesn't change the fact that i have so much work to do that i'm going to spontaneously combust! my painting for art, my 7 page essay for english, my physic's exam.... and god damn history. oh, and did i mention that i have to write my personal statement.... which this year is three essays!! along with filling out college apps..... but it would probably be good if i had an idea of where i wanted to go in the first place!! im kid. i want to have fun. i want to be able to stay out late on week nights and have nothing to worry about. damn this life right now. it's such a tease. Yes Jessica, you're old enough to go anywhere you want. But NOOO Jessica, if do whatever the hell you want you wont get anywhere! AHHHHHH!!!! mother fucking trucker, come kiss my ass! bring it on suckkkkkaaaaaa!!!!! sad, the highlight of my week will be going to work tomorrow. i hope that there's fun people i'm working with.... there better be! SHANE, YOU BEST BE SCHEDULING ME WITH FUN PEOPLE OR YOU CAN COME KISS MY ASS!!! jay slash kay. i love my job. Did I tell you that our employee meeting was a LIMOOOOOOOO trip to another laser tag place! I mean dear mother of god!!! this limo was ammmmmaazziiing!!!!! im so lucky to have what i have..... and sooo very thankful. my job makes me smile in a very very big way. again.... i'm procrastinating. And procrastination is like masturbation, it's great until you realize that you've just screwed yourself (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
3:41 pm	a few days after pure randomness; this is what i love about my school. it's hot, and i'm walking back to my car, and i look over my left shoulder and there's a horse on someone's front lawn. i don't know why, or where it came from, but it's there. seems odd how i always seem to come across such bizarre sights. or maybe things like that happen all the time, maybe it's just that i seem to notice the random things that occur around me. . . . . with eyes wide open. anyway, the horse kinda defines my year. random events, random chances, i don't know how they came to be, or why they happened, but they did and they're my reality. i think i've uncovered a bit of what's been going on with me. after another sleepless night, it occurs to me what my problem is. I'M STUCK IN THE NOW. its a phase. a phase that's lasted since winter. i would explain to you why i got myself fixated in this place, but this is live journal. if you ask me personally, i'll let you know. but the thing i haven't figured out is WHHHHYYYYYY i'm STILLLLLLL stuck. i don't know where i'm going with my life. i need to figure it out. i need to find the perspective i lost. the perspective that allowed me to be aware of everything that was going on around me with 100% feeling and happiness. i loved that, i could see the importance of everything. the best high of my life. better than weed, and i looooove that high. but this one's better. if i find it again, i'll be sure to show it to you well, i'm still running away. for the past two months, and for the rest of the year, i'm putting away $200 each month. the only thing that i have to worry my self about is who or what i'm taking with me. i can't wait (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 28th, 2003
7:22 pm	PROGRESSION? i've been asleep since last winter.. . . . . . . . . . i don't know why. all the tangible things in my life feel untouchable. i don't know what i need, but i need to find something to wake me. something to get me out of my head. an escape. im just so god damn numb to everything and it's catapulting me up the wall! and i'm so stuck on these ridiculous romantic ideas it's driving me insane. i think i'm sick of love. if there was an organ in my body that controlled my attractions to people, i think i'd have it surgically removed. why when i stand still for two seconds does my heart pull me in a million different directions! i can't decide on anything. and i realize that i really don't know anything about myself. and i hate that too. this isnt a depressing entry at all, i swear. it is just because i decided to sit still this weekend. i've been on my feet for so long now, not having time for myself. i'm always going to work, going to school, going out with friends... never staying in one place for too long. i thought it would be good for me. so last night, i stayed home. i thought i should stay sober. it would be good. instead i got so anxious and so contemplative that i ended up drinking anyway to run away from myself. of coarse it works, but it's the easy way out. i should have read the warnings on the label. i think i know what i need. i need to end this confusion!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's hurting me, and everyone i associate myslef with. and i hate that too. to you, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it. i don't know what i want???? maybe i do? i want to travel some place real far. come with me? and i would love that (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
10:04 pm	how sad... i lost the lottery. and to think.... if only i would have picked the numbers 38, 26, 47, 7, 4, and 23..... i'd have 10 million dollars right now. i blew it. im so stoopid. i don't think ill ever be able to forgive myself. what was i thinking! but as my dad says: "for a dollar you can have a very nice dream" (1 Comment |Comment on this)